Some people believe that if a police force carries a gun, it will encourage higher levels of violence in the whole society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

有些人认为经常携带枪支会引发整个社会更多的暴力。多大程度上同意或者不同意？

In recent years, there have been heated discussions about the relationships between citizens and police. I agree the some people believe that if a police force carries a gun, it will encourage higher levels of violence in the whole society. Especially in China, if a policeman carries a gun in the street and the citizen see it, it might causes the citizen to distrust government and police.

In my country, China, the normal policemen are not carry the gun in the street because it's a very dangerous action. For example, if a criminal attacks a policeman, the criminal might take the gun from the policeman. After that the criminal could use this gun to shoot other citizens or even rub the bank. It will break the system of society. Furthermore, citizens would lose trust in the police and become sacred of criminals, it actually encourages higher levels of violence in the whole society.

In addition, a policemen carrying a gun might cause conflicts with the citizens in some countries. For example, the United States has historical conflicts between the white people and black people. In the past, a white policeman bullied a black teenager in the street and shouted at this guy. After that, the black teenager was dead in the hospital. It made many black people who lived in the USA angry and sad. Therefore, they made many protests in the United States and told the government to have new rules to control the police and changed the situation. They believe that the police carrying a gun is very dangerous and they should have similar rights with white people.

In conclusion, the police not only needs to protect the society, but also need to care about the citizens’ feelings. Violence is not the fundamental way to combat criminals and it may also leads to unwanted killings.

作文讲评：

这是一篇同不同意型的文章，本文烤鸭的观点是同意此观点，主体分别论证警察与罪犯，警察与平民之间由于枪支问题产生的暴力。这篇文章最大的优势在于，作者善于用举例子，和假设的方式来对犯罪这类比较偏的题目进行论证。犯罪类题目如果用“干货”进行论证，往往会牵涉到很多法律犯罪类的词汇，而作者通过，“罪犯夺枪行凶罪恶”，“白人警察枪杀黑人少年”等画面感很强的具体例子来进行论证，不仅巧妙地避开了较难的词汇，而且使得论证变得充分生动。这是我们学习的地方。当然，该烤鸭在语言方面还有待提高，犯了几个较为普遍的语法错误，现在我们就来看一看。

错误一：be动词和一般动词连用

In my country, China, the normal policemen are not carry the gun in the street because it's a very dangerous action.

这里be动词(are) 和一般动词（carry） 连用，这在很多同学的作文中动很常见。我们知道，一句话的谓语动词不是be动词就是一般动词，两者是不可连用的。这里应改为：

更正：In my country, China, the normal policemen do not carry the gun in the street because it's a very dangerous action.

错误二：断句问题

Furthermore, citizens would lose trust in the police and become sacred of criminals, it actually encourages higher levels of violence in the whole society.

很多同学对标点符号的问题不以为意，但是雅思官方评分指南中明确写出标点符号的正确使用也是语法正确性的一个体现。标点符号的错用本质上是缺乏断句意识，不知道一句话什么时候应该结束。英语中一套主谓宾完整的句子结束之后就应该打上句号，不像中文可以“一逗到底”，如果觉得话没说完，不想再一句话的末尾打上句号，就应当使用and, but, or, so, although, because 等有连接句子功能的连词将前一句同后一句以合乎语法的形式连接起来，不能”任性“，想打逗号就打逗号。

更正：Furthermore, citizens would lose trust in the police and become sacred of criminals. It actually encourages higher levels of violence in the whole society.

      Furthermore, citizens would lose trust in the police and become sacred of criminals and it actually encourages higher levels of violence in the whole society.

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